How my Grandpa Made Me Think

It's funny how you can know someone for 21 years and not even begin to get to know that person until he passes on.

I have been blessed in my life with a wonderful family, both immediate and extended, both maternal and paternal. I have two sets of grandparents, two parents, three brothers, twenty one cousins, and two second cousins. Of these family members I have only lost two. This year I lost two grandfathers but I was able to learn so much more about them in death than I ever did while they were living.

I find it interesting how often we tell ourselves not to waste the precious life we have - to seize the day and make the most of everything. Then why don't we ask more questions? Why don't we spend more time truly getting to know those around us? How is it possible that I know more about the history of random people on facebook than I did my own grandfather? Why did I spend so much time in the last two years reading the blogs of people I don't know and so little asking my granfather about his life both before and after he met me?

I remember visiting with Papa and Grandma Weems only a couple months ago and we were talking about my blog (I say we, but really it was Grandma and I) and she said, "How do you find the time to virtually visit with people you don't know? I have a hard enough time keeping up with those who I do know." I told her that it's something I enjoy and that it doesn't really matter that I don't know them because it's so interesting.

Really though.... why do we spend so much time on the internet? Aside from all the things that can be learned we do spend a good deal of time "snooping" on others. People we know and people we don't know become people we want to know more about because there's ten thousand photos to look at and fifteen new status updates a day. I think for many of us it is simply the ease of the disconnected world we live in on the internet. Emotions can be clouded and masked. Conversations can be had without argument because a simple click of a button makes everything disappear. You can even delete things you say to people. Imagine deleting comments in real life! I have found myself saying "delete" before and people are just like, "what?!" This is the issue I find with my obession with the internet - its ability to maintain my relationships for me. I don't have to call or visit because Facebook makes it one hundred times easier. I've spent the last ten years using e-mail as my main form of communication with my grandparents and I've found it helpful. Technically though, it's just lazy.

It's not to say that the internet has no advantages - but that's not the point that I'm trying to make. I know that if things were different and the internet wasn't here that I'd probably still be the same person. I'd still hate talking on the phone and I'd still probably rather write a letter and send it in the mail than speak verbally - but I'll never know.

I am lucky that I have a second chance to get to know my grandpa. I have so much of an advantange in that I have family members who can share all the funny memories of him with me. Who can answer my questions about what type of person he was - what he stood for - and why he did the things he did in his life. I only hope that I can remember to ask those questions when I think of them.

Kels