when time flies FAST.

I'm sitting on the floor of our living room right now (watching Parks and Rec with a Down to Earth) and I'm basically on the edge of my (carpet?) for my son to wake up. The reality of my life is that I have a kid who goes down for the night between 7 and 8pm, SOMETIMES 630, and wakes up in the morning between 7 and 9am, USUALLY 830. We're talking 12 hours every single night. I'm not bragging. I'm not complaining. I'm just stating the facts. My child is a sleeper. He plays hard, he naps during the day and he sleeps at night.

*here's to praying that I didn't just jinx this magic right before 2 weekends out of town 

When Lee was less than a month old we took a trip down to Southern California to visit with family for my cousin Katie's wedding. While we made our way down the state our little dude slept like a champ. When we got there he slept all bundled in between pillows on the second bed in our room. He literally DID NOT CARE that we were not home; He didn't care that we were in the same room with him (which was definitely odd for us as a group to be in the one space); and he made our trip way more easy and fun than it should have been for brand new parents.

When he was about 1 week old we had put him in his own room. Between 1 and 2 months old we had transitioned him from his bassinet to his crib. He has NEVER slept in our bed as a part of his sleep routine. I think that in the past (almost) 11 months he has spent something like 8 hours total in our bed during sleeping hours. Every single time up to now I have felt nothing but this immense guilt when doing so, as if I was committing some crime against both myself and our tiny human.

Like all people, Lee goes through wake cycles in the night. He wakes up and talks a little bit. On occasion he gets upset, but generally he just talks himself back to sleep. In the past two weeks it has become increasingly obvious to my husband and I that this kid is straight up teething / going through a major growth spurt. He's been sleeping most of the day, going down at his regular time, and waking up 2-3 times a night for a bottle or just a little bit of mom/dad time. We've just been holding him for a few minutes and then laying him back down in his bed. A couple of times this week though, we have let him lay in our bed for a couple of hours. In these instances he has gone from crying to sitting between us to laying his head down on my pillow in a matter of minutes.

Because of this, in combination with the fact that my freaking NEWBORN BABY is 5 weeks away from being a ONE YEAR OLD, I am just really looking forward to the possibility of maybe holding my little dude tonight, and possibly snuggling him in our bed for a few hours.

This kid right here. This independent, adorable genius of a child. 

Yes, this whole entire story/rant/post/whatever was leading up to that one simple statement. I want to snuggle my child before he becomes even more independent and grown up than he already is and decides that he doesn't want "mama" anymore. I no longer fear that a few random hours in our bed will "ruin my child for life" or create a child that is so attached to me that I completely regret it and want to kill myself. I just want to love on my kid, and I want to do it before he gets any older and less-babylike.

So there, go ahead and judge me one way or the other -- for what I have done in the past, for what I may or may not do today, for what I did say and for what I did not say.

Life is short, guys, and extremely unpredictable. Appreciate what you've got, right now. OK?

Kels