Why am I crazy?!

Today I was trying to figure out what is anxiety?

and / or

what does being prepared mean?

and / or

how far is too far?

Let's explore that, shall we?

For example:

Weeks ago I spent the better half of an hour googling taxicabs. We were heading out to a local bar for dancing and drinks and I knew we didn't have a ride home. I also knew that neither of us could be trusted to have "just one" and then dance for four hours. Furthermore, I knew that calling any of our parents would be both annoying and frustrating to them at 2 o'clock in the morning. So, I turned to Google. I seriously have ten numbers for cabs in my cell phone right now and they are ranked numerically by how likely I thought they were to pick us up quickly and inexpensively that night. Why, you might ask, do I need ten numbers? Because: I am Kelsey and I worry too much. I also think being prepared means going above and beyond. And there's no such thing as "too far". 

Moving on:

Today the electrician is coming to my house to fix my oven. For some reason I allowed myself to wait over a year before I told my landlord that our oven simply doesn't heat properly. We frequently have simultaneously burnt and undercooked food in this house. It's cool - no raw meat involved. He told me yesterday that he'd be here between 3:00 and 4:00 PM. So I figured I'd get home around 2. Just.to.be.safe. As I sat down on the couch to read until he arrived I immediately felt concerned that I might be asleep when he got here (because I've been abnormally tired all the time lately) and just in case he'd call I put my phone on its loudest setting and placed it on my book so I'd also hear it vibrate. I woke up at least ten times thinking someone might be at the door. And upon waking would realize that my hair wasn't brushed. Now that I'm up I just keep thinking, "Maybe he's not coming today," because it's 3:44 and it's getting quite close to his self-imposed deadline. And always in the back of my mind I am thinking that I better be careful because I'm here alone and you never know what kind of crazy person might walk into this house. Why, you might ask, am I so concerned about a serial killer right now? Because: I am Kelsey and I worry too much. I also have been watching way too much Jaycee Dugard and Casey Anthony TV. And there's no such thing as "too far". 

Finally: 

Upon waking up from my nap today I made a pot of coffee. I've had a headache all day and I suspect it may stem from the lack of caffeine in my diet the past few days. As I was making coffee (which I've done hundreds of times thanks to my time at IHOP) I wondered if I was putting too much water or too little coffee grounds. After it began brewing I sat down to begin this post. Ever since I sat down I've had this unsettling nagging feeling in my stomach. "What if the coffee is done?" "What if it gets cold?" "I better go grab it!" "It will be a waste of water and money if I have to throw it out" "What if it makes my headache worse" I mean SERIOUSLY!!! Why am I so crazy all the time? Why can't I just drink the freaking coffee and move on? Because: I'm Kelsey. I worry too much. I'm overly prepared. And there's no such thing as "too far". 

How will my husband stand me for the next XX years?

Kels